February 16, 2015

In the peaceful chaos

Everything is fast and a mess. There is still the F word - Flow. Surroundings are changing with great speed, yours truly is in a kind of zone where time seems to be frozen yet the relativity plays the role. Life goes on.

If I look beyond my visits to several industrial areas with no charm around, a lot of motion sickness which fails to make me puke and yet haunts me- I am trying to find my pace. My control over super boring work has been a sine wave like it was in last four months, now I feel good about it. Seeing people in the same boat, discussing how to get out of it - keeps our spirit alive.

In this chaos I tried my hands on food dishes - Right from awesome Banana bread to Home made Granola, Paneer Lababdar to Gajar ka halwa, Ragi based hot chocolate to Super tangy tomato bhaat. I need a different post to express my emotions when I smell the aroma , feel the flavor of what is there on the stove. May be in the Oven! The Kitchen is where I zone out, just like those books in Kindle.

Kindle has been my best friend after Mr.ISB so far. Close to two months I have got this gift and I guess I am already done with books over a dozen. I am glued to my favorite topic - World war 2 stories, specially extermination camps, psychology of Nazis. A lot of retrospection, a lot many tears.

Then there is something called Shopping, which I really don't like much. Most of the days I struggle to get something which I really love. I sometimes have to drag myself to the store and hunt in a way which would make me stay away from shopping for months together. Yeah, I was never the girl who shops till she drops.

We are planning a trip to Jaipur and Sariska wild life century. This would be totally an unplanned trip as per my standards. I do not want to raise the bar of my expectations, hence going forward to this no-plans-trip. The only thing I am looking forward to is a change.

From the peaceful chaos. 

January 27, 2015

Prayers help - Keeping fingers crossed.

My heart was sinking faster than the blood pressure of my mom. The machine showed 180/101 and I knew it is time to go to the hospital. We called my Fufa who is also our family doctor with some 40 years of experience. He agreed to me and I took mom to the very nearby hospital. My mom was quite sure she is going to have a heart or brain stroke.

One more shock was waiting when the mercury machine of the hospital showed 190/110. Yeah the BP was increasing in super sonic speed even after giving her drops of the medicine underneath her tongue before 2 hours. With the height of mercury sweating on my face was increasing too. The doctor immediately asked to go for an ECG. My heart was at the bottom, if you know what I mean.

I walked up and straight for some 5 minutes and asked the doctor to tell me the result first before telling it to my  mom. She smiled and said it is normal. No spike and so ruling out the possibility of heart stroke.We were still thinking about the blood pressure when she asked mom to lie down. Mom had smiled for the first time in the day after knowing the result. She gave my mom a tablet of  paracetamol to cure the headache. After some 20 minutes they measured her pressure which had gone down to 160/90. By the time Mr.ISB had left from the office to come to hospital. My dad had landed in Pune as well.

We consulted the MD who patiently wrote down the long medical history of my mom. Remeasured BP which had lowered to the normal limit by the time. She said we need to do Eco Cardio to rule out any other tiny issue related to heart. The cardiologist took mom inside. By the time my two chai-buddies ( Colleagues - I need to write a post on them!!) and Mr.ISB reached. I was relaxed and yeah, dad was to reach super soon.

Dad reached and immediately started scanning her reports to send it to my uncle. Mom came out like a hulk (in comparison with what she was since morning) smiling. The doctor had already told her things are super perfect and she can fly back home with dad. He insisted to go for stress test in Ahmedabad, but the normal BP made things very relaxed.

I was relieved due to arrival of my dad who is a doctor without a degree due to his sharp observation power and his skills developed to behave in crisis which was the result of training by my Cardiologst Grand Dad. Mr.ISB ran here and then to help with payments and buying syringes/medicine for mom. One of my super best friend came home with my family as well.

I was tired. I was relaxed. Mom was high as if she was born again. Mr.ISB and dad were busy teasing me for the coolie type personality with Pajamas - sweater- no bath properties.

I thank every one who prayed for my mom and stood by me. Not being a formality queen. I am sure mom would fight any other complications which raised her BP.

Prayers help. I am pretty sure.

January 26, 2015

Would you please pray for my mom?

Her Blood pressure is around 188. Which is far from normal. She is suffering from all deadly life style problems - Diabetes, High/Low blood pressure, High level of Albumin, Cholesterol etc etc.

She is here. We had awesome time together till last night. She was to leave for Ahmedabad tomorrow as my dad and brother already reaching there. From today morning she is not at all well.

Nibbling hands, Gas in the stomach, eyes lids super heavy and headache like anything. We consulted our family doctor and she is under sedation now.

She needs to sleep. Under those medicines also it is taking time for her to sleep. How would her blood pressure go down? What if pressure if affecting her other organs like my maternal family history says.

I am scared. I want to cry. She does not deserve this. She slogged to take care of us, my paternal and maternal grandparents, her grand mother too. Every one around her.

Now she is suffering. I am sacred.

Would you please pray for my mom?

Some prayers get answered. Do me a favor?  

January 21, 2015

Mom is here ------- (100)

So finally dad dispatched my mom to Pune by air, while Mr.ISB collected her in Zombie condition due to her medications from the airport.

She is here in Pune finally for the whole week. Thanks to my dad's trip and my brother's competition which sent them out of town. She has a hobby of managing everything alone but her health quite does not like it. It was a daunting task to convince her to come to our place in Pune but the super ideal son-in-law ( What the heck moment for me) could convince her in one single phone call versus my plenty of requests to come home.

With the risk of me sounding rude to friends, I have invited each of my friends to come down to my home to meet mom. Yeah, I cant manage my hyper active, shameless friends on my own. They are eager to meet mom as a few of them wants to say hi to her after meeting my full filmy family in the wedding and some of them wants to meet her as they had missed my wedding - which is not quite convincing. The major reason I predict is they want to complain  about my shameless dominating nature which is not true. Period. Okay, they want to check on Mr.ISB if he is alive. Image we carry, I swear.

With the nervous heart with the fear of  my boss ( who sometimes forget who is the boss) might forget that I have taken 'work from home' for 2 days and create some crisis which can not be resolved without me. Not boasting but he is new to the organisation and I take advantage of the fact! Hah.

I am looking forward in getting constant company of my mom in my walking, cooking and tea time sessions. I am looking forward to the Namkin news of my old society on which I can write a whole book. I am looking forward to Mr.ISB's caring nature which suddenly appears in multiplications of 6 (Random okay?) when my mom arrives.

Oh my god, My mom is here ----- (100)

January 13, 2015

Allergy to the unknown

I have caught one. Suddenly.

I had to go to an old area of Pune city. Call it the heart of the city. My old office and a hands on training session. Nothing can go wrong with the combination. Well, that is what my thought process was before a day.

The moment I reached the place on a bike with a friend of mine. I sneezed. I entered the class room, I sneezed. The introductory session ended and I sneezed. Within an hour of the actual session my nose was converted into 'Gangotri' for the liquid coming with the force of 'Bhagirathi'. Sorry for the sort of wrong analogy.

I would never ever like any one to go through this. It is brutal to not to have a handkerchief when your nose is leaking like a  malfunctioning valve. Yes, the valve. I am a mechanical engineer after all. I managed to get a bundle of tissue papers with super hard surface which had co-efficient of friction as much as rubber. That is 1. In simple language the surface of my nose resembled a carpet in color red by the time we got a break for the lunch.

My colleague and also a very close friend decided to take matter in her hands and I swallowed anti-histamine in the middle of the day. The whole class was tired of counting numbers of times I was sneezing.

After an hour, I was numb. Numb and dumb under the effect of medicine. Eyes were shutting off and I was given tea which was close to sugar syrup than to caffeine. I survived.

I am not sure what we did in the training but I remember one thing, I slept off like never before for close to an hour after coming back home. It was almost 8 when Mr.ISB reached home.

My nose never leaked and I never sneezed that night.

The conclusion is one word called 'Allergy'. Allergy to something unknown.

Today I went to the same place and as soon as I entered in the building  I started sneezing. One tablet and I am hearty now.

Dear Unknown allergy, kindly do not come back.

January 7, 2015

Near the window panel

It is already 'the' new year. 2015. A year which might bring new changes in my professional life. Hopefully. Ah, the cup of awesome tea at work always makes me positive. Just as it did a few minutes before.

I sit near the window panel (wall) of the tower which my company owns. The same place where my favorite boss used to sit and stare outside. From here he climbed, rather jumped the corporate ladder in an another firm with lots of challenges to be faced. Brave. I know now, when a person stares out of the window panel. When he/she is waiting eagerly for the right opportunity to launch your professional growth exponentially. May be. It feels good to be here, near the window panel.

I can see little creatures outside. Big construction site. A concrete jungle on the horizon. Tiny vehicles, some vegetable vendors and many bored people drinking tinier cups of tea at the 'Tapari'. Life, which is not made up of sweat. Made up of mental turmoils and blood.

The mail pops up in my inbox and I refuse to check it. This time has been assigned only for blogging, I have decided. Yes, in my office we do get some hours/minutes where our global partners do not prefer to be on call and India stake holders are done with us. I love these moments, where I can do things I want to. Only if my boss/bosses (who knows) refuse to acknowledge my presence and relaxed moments I am enjoying.

I have a small group of people around me in the office who plays a major role in my life to get over stresses. We are almost in the same boat. One kid ( who is elder to me by a few months) who has some child like expression if at all he resurfaces them on his face, another two elder personalities who are behind me to not to care too much about office and the one who is floating in between places hunting for potentially brides. 3 guys, 1 girl. Typically me. Needless to say, I am the youngest one. Wow.

We all sit near by the panels, rarely chat with each other when glued to our sits. Rarely separated from each other when in the campus but not on desks. We share some common interest - Food, tea, laughing and travelling. May be these guys keep me calm when I am out of mind. Actually they divert my mind to some laughter attacks I get into within a few minutes I talk to them.

Near the window panel there is nothing stationary. People keep on moving as we don't have assigned desks. The feel  of having your own desk and knowing other's desks is missing here.A pen mug, a coffee mug, some files, some photo frames, some post aid - missing. Oh, we have developed the sense which alerts us where the people 'worth not seeing' sit with the help of our guts and some habits. There is something really not right about such surroundings but I love the window panel.

It gives the room to dive into thoughts. About wishes, about lives, about dreams, about plans. There is a sort of ambiguity in the life on the other side of window gives me. I know I do not want to be the part of those concrete jungles, how greens are missing from our lives. I only want to see the road which goes straight to my home.

When I see, I imagine the home at the end of the sight. Near the window panel.

January 1, 2015

The boring New Year Post!

Note: This post was partially written on 1st Jan and completed today on 2nd Jan,2014, hopefully.

The milk was old and it ruined my tea by converting itself into cottage cheese with the spicy tea water. It also shows how my mood would have gone bonkers just before leaving for office. Yes, in India many many companies do not have a holiday on 1st Jan. Note, I was working on 31st Dec too.

After reaching office and settling down with no work to do, as I handle exports we ganged up to go to the near by 'Tapari' where the most comforting tea is made. 2 cutting cups of the tea and my mood settled to go back to the normal curve. Life.

I bet it was not a good sign that the milk got spoiled. Not in terms of my upcoming new year but the kind of carelessness I flaunted after coming back from home town. Well, some days are lazy.

With the new job, the (new) husband, a series of new bosses, a new city and a new home made my this year quite dynamic but that does not mean my 2015 would be any different. I want everything new except the husband. Talk about ambitions.

In other talks, I am ageing faster than ever. I hate the Facebook wall which only shows marriages and cheesy dialogues with some mindless stuff floating over. I hate to wish every one in my world for that single day- the birthday. The only thing left is to get detached completely from Face Book which is delayed temporarily due to some hidden reasons.

I am facing one question in a very rough fashion. Resolutions. No, I am not having any. I have understood in 26 years on this earth that if I want to test my will power, I can certainly do it at any time frame of the year. I should not wait for 1st January to start with it.

I have stopped being pissed off 24 hours a day and rather I spent only about an hour in hating my non-value-added 'important' work profile. I have reached the saturation point. I look forward to other interesting high points in  my life.

Yoga, walking, Kindle, cooking and career can be key words hovering in my mind. Nothing sort of resolutions I am going to take, as I have already started working on many of them.

Ah, Any way if you are reading this you are lucky as you are one of those few people who managed to get my new year wish! :D Talk about mood!

"Happy New Year"! :)